Posts tagged faith
galaxies and such
when words aren't enough
On one occasion an exorcist friend of mine asked the devil what most hurts him about Our Lady, what most annoys him. He responded, ‘That she is the purest of all creatures and that I am the filthiest; that she is the most obedient of all creatures and that I am the most rebellious; that she is the one who committed no sin and thus always conquers me.’
Yep, this. Like what we used to say back in college, Kapit lang! Just making sure I know who I’m holding onto.
That today you find peace inside you, that you can confide in your highest power because you are exactly where you are supposed to be, but do not forget the infinite possibilities that are born from the faith, that you may use the gifts that you have received and transfer the love that has been given to you, to make you feel satisfied that you are a child of God. Allow his presence in your bones and give your soul the liberty to sing, dance and be warmed by the sun, that is there for everyone and each one of us.
It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness. He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you. He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your heart your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle.
It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be ground down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal.
northern lights: Good v. Best
The greatest enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but good choices which are not quite good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best.
If you take the left, then I will go to the right; or, if you go to the right, then I will go to the left —Genesis 13:9
As soon as you begin to live the life of faith in God, fascinating and physically gratifying possibilities will open up before you. These things are yours by right, but if you…
Generosity
This week, I learned that God is a generous God. I dared to ask, and He dared to give. More than I asked for.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8)
Thank You. :)
Ondoysary
Allow me to use a common introduction to horror stories to start this post: This time last year, it was a dark and stormy night.
This time last year, my parents, my best friend and I were carrying our important belongings through chest deep flood water across the street to our neighbor’s house, where they have been waiting for us to evacuate for a while now. The rain won’t stop, and we carried all the important things that we can to their house, where they welcomed us in one room. We cleaned up, changed and prayed and listened to the rain pour down. My parents fell asleep, but my best friend and I were too antsy to do so. We talked in hopes of calming our own fears and listened and prayed for the rain to stop so the water will not go up anymore.
I was expecting the worst the next day. We woke up to this, our house submerged, on our street that has never flooded for the 20 years we’ve lived there:
I’ve been afraid of typhoon season starting ever since that day. Hard rains freak me out, and I find myself always, always praying for sun, and stopping myself from complaining about the heat. Better heat than flood, right?
I always said that I just need to get through this one year anniversary without any major calamity and I will be okay. Just that, and I think I can really, and fully move on. I don’t know how I could say that, but I’m big on dates and anniversaries and all that. I’m not a human calendar for nothing, you know.
But you know what? I will never really know if there will be another Ondoy. It doesn’t matter how much weather watching I do — if there’s another one, it will come and I am only human. I can’t stop it from happening. I can only do so much, I can only prepare myself so much, but in the end, it’s all God’s. He commands the weather, and everything else in this world, after all.
Ondoy really changed my life last year, and even if I know I’d rather not experienced it, I am still thankful that it happened. I don’t think I would be the person I am right now if I didn’t. I still don’t understand why it happened to us, to me. I don’t know if I will ever understand it, at least in this lifetime. But it doesn’t really matter if I understand it, or know why it happened. It’s kind of hard to explain, but trying to figure it out will just stress me out, when I can just rest in the fact that God knows and God understands and He will never ever give me anything that I can’t handle (1 Corinthians 10:13). So…why worry, right?
I will never forget what happened on September 26, 2009. I refuse to forget because I don’t want to forget how it changed me and the lessons I have learned. It will always be a part of me. But I will also refuse to worry about it happening again. My God is bigger than any other typhoon or calamity, and I rest in the fact that He is always in control, and He understands even if I do not.
I don’t know if I have thanked everyone who helped, prayed and listened to me and my family during the entire ordeal and after — if I haven’t, well, THANK YOU. You were all God’s blessings to us. Thank you, thank you.
It’s been a year, and I am never more happy when I woke up and saw sunlight shining through my window. :)
And for the record, I want to say that despite all that happened last year, I’m not an Ondoy victim. I’m a survivor. :)
Blessed be His name.
Read other Ondoy related entries in Refine Me:
- 09/28 – I feel like I’m Job
- 10/01 – More Ondoy Aftermath
- 10/02 – Oratio Imperata for Deliverance from Calamities
- 10/17 – Checking In
- 10/29 – Lessons from the Flood # 1: I care
- 11/06 – Lessons from the Flood # 2: God’s Plan
- 11/18 – Hello Hurriance
- 03/25 – Aftershocks
- 07/14 – Scared Senseless
Related posts and such in the world wide web:
Humbling Experiences # 1
Earlier this morning, I was trying to finish an article for the newsletter at work about Ondoy, and how the survivors are (that includes me) one year later. I’ve been putting off writing the article because I was busy with other work stuff, but I finally found time this morning because I knew I can’t keep on pushing that deadline forever.
So I started writing it while I was in the car, and as I was reading what my co-writer sent me, my eyes started to fill up with tears. I was surprised because I thought I was more or less over that already. But apparently, i wasn’t. I could remember almost everything that happened almost a year ago. The happiness of booking our flight to Coron, the rain not stopping and watching the waters go up and up until it entered our house and we had to evacuate to our neighbor’s second floor. I can still remember my best friend calling me, terrified after waking up to find their house submerged in knee-deep flood and then calling me later to say that he can’t stay at home because he can smell gas leaking from their jeep. I can still remember our dogs’ frightened yelps as we left them that night because we can’t bring them to our neighbor’s. I can remember the surreality of the next few days and weeks that followed and how scared I was of every typhoon and every rain that came after that day in September.
See, I’m still terrified. I was intending to write a whole post about that earlier, about how hard it is to get over something like this…but then I found out something else later today, one that totally overshadowed what I experienced last year. All my train of thoughts stopped, and I was was absolutely humbled. I felt like God was gently reminding me, “It’s not about you, my daughter.”
I find it funny how often God does that to me lately. I feel like whenever I’d feel bad about something that’s happening in my life, He suddenly shows me something that isn’t really worse, but just bigger, making my worries seem so puny and almost petty.
It’s kind of refreshing to feel that.
* * *
Apparently, God is not done teaching me about perspectives after that. My parents almost always never argue, but earlier today, there seemed to be a more serious argument. This was disturbing, and being a daddy’s girl, I understood my dad’s side almost immediately when he told me what happened. I wasn’t sure how to approach my mom about it because we usually clash with our opinions, so I wasn’t planning to say anything when I met up with her.
I was worried, of course. And then my mom opened up and she started telling me what happened, and thank God He made me shut up and just listen earlier. And I actually understood her side better.
They’re still talking it out right now (which is why I’m still up and blogging because I can’t go inside the bedroom to sleep), and I can’t help mulling over the things I realized as my mom shared her story. Like I said, I have never been in a romantic relationship, so I don’t know how it feels to be jealous (oh, I’ve felt jealousy before, but it was always unreasonable jealousy because the guy was never mine to begin with *cue emo music here*) or to feel other things that are involved in a relationship (see I can’t even name them). I’ve always been easygoing and I guess I am pretty independent, and I’m not used to depending so much on another person for some of my needs. I don’t know if I phrased that right, but it’s like, I’ve always been this person surrounded by friends and yet I am also okay being on my own. The idea of being in a relationship is thrilling and exciting…but am I ready for that? Do I want to be ready? Can my heart handle all the happiness and sadness that comes with it, and possibly even more?
Gosh these questions are questions my friends and I ask when we’re drinking. Or having super emo moments over ice cream.
So many thoughts, so little time. I have no answers to those questions, but I guess I’ll know in time, when God deems me ready. Or even if I’m not, as long as it’s His perfect time, then I will get there, whether I am ready or not. Or whoever he is will get here. Whichever.
* * *
But again, I hear God shushing my thoughts and stilling my heart and saying: It’s not about you, my daughter.
I’m not sure if the last few paragraphs made sense. It’s an emotional rollercoaster day and I can only thank God for keeping me together, keeping my family together and keeping my heart in check. I don’t know what tomorrow brings…but I rest in the fact that my God does, and by His grace, everything will be okay.
Happy September, everyone.
It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your heart your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle.
It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be ground down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, makng the world more human and more fraternal.
Why in our fear of not praying as we should, do we turn to so many things, to find what we should pray for? Why do we not say instead, in the words of the psalm: I have asked one thing from the Lord, this is what I will seek: to dwell in the Lord’s house all the days of my life, to see the graciousness of the Lord, and to visit his temple? There, the days do not come and go in succession, and the beginning of one day does not mean the end of another; all days are one, simultaneously and without end, and the life lived out in these days has itself no end.
So that we might obtain this life of happiness, he who is true life itself taught us to pray, not in many words as though speaking longer could gain us a hearing. After all, we pray to one who, as the Lord himself tells us, knows what we need before we ask for it.
Why he should ask us to pray, when he knows what we need before we ask him, may perplex us if we do not realize that our Lord and God does not want to know what we want for he cannot fail to know it, but wants us rather to exercise our desire through our prayers, so that we may be able to receive what he is preparing to give us. His gift is very great indeed, but our capacity is too small and limited to receive it. That is why we are told: Enlarge your desires, do not bear the yoke with unbelievers.
The deeper our faith, the stronger our hope, the greater our desire, the larger will be our capacity to receive that gift, which is very great indeed. No eye has seen it; it has no color. No ear has heard it; it has no sound. It has not entered man’s heart; man’s heart must enter into it.
In this faith, hope and love we pray always with unwearied desire. However, at set times and seasons we also pray to God in words, so that by these signs we may instruct ourselves and mark the progress we have made in our desire, and spur ourselves on to deepen it. The more fervent the desire, the more worthy will be its fruit. When the Apostle tells us: Pray without ceasing (I Thes 5:16), he means this: Desire unceasingly that life of happiness which is nothing if not eternal, and ask it of him who alone is able to give it.
